The Top Ten Church Moments Or Quotes (from Chico and Delamar's Daily Top 10)

I love Chico and Delamar! My mornings are not complete if I don't get to listen to their morning radio show Morning Rush on RX93.1. I would like to share with you the best of their Daily top 10, which they always do every morning. Catch Chico and Del every morning 6-10am on RX93.1

The Top Ten Church Moments Or Quotes
1. Em-em Unggoy - A small girl felt sick during mass and felt like throwing up. Her mom told her to go outside. She did and was back feeling better. Mom asked: "Saan ka sumuka?" Girl: "Dun sa gilid, sa box na nakalagay ‘For The Sick’."

2 Ian024 - We had a company anniversary mass. My officemate called me to go down and see the mass because there was an attendance sheet. I got offended by it and stayed in the office.

3. Marcus - Man was praying in church for God to give him P1000. The town mayor who was also in church overheard him and was so moved with pity that he gave the man P500 only which was all he had in his pocket. When the mayor left the man went back to praying: "Lord Salamat po. Pero next time pag bibigyan niyo ko ng pera, wag niyo na po padaanin kay Mayor."

4. Daryl - One time our priest was giving a passionate serm0n about how God doesn’t appr0ve of gays and cohab. Tinginan kami ng mga kabarkada ko (we’re 4 gays and 1 lesbo).

5. Maynman - One time when I was a kid, I insisted on eating candy during mass despite my parents telling me not to. The homily’s message was fittingly about obeying one’s parents. The candy got stuck in my throat and I began to choke. We had to go to the hospital and never finished the mass. Needless to say, I learned my lesson.

6. Astroboy - I read this in our church prayer b0x: "Dear G0d, thanks for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy."

7. Lara - During consecration, when all was quiet after the bell was rang, my 2-year-old sister said loudly, "Hello?"

8. Astroboy - During Sunday school, the kids were asked if there’s a c0mmandment that teaches how to treat their siblings. A little girl answered, "Th0u shall n0t kill?"

9. Dru - When it stopped raining as they left church, my inaanak said, "Naubusan ng tubig si Jesus…"

10. Padpaper - One time the priest made everyone jump in their seats when he said, "Ano ba nangyayari sa society ngayon, puro na lang SECTS, SECTS, SECTS!"

11. Nikki - My dad was in our parish when he noticed an elderly lay minister praying the Stations of the Cross backwards, i.e., from 14th Station to the 1st. My dad said: "Brod, mukhang paatras po ang dasal natin ah?" The lay minister said: "Ay sus! Kaya pala palakas ng palakas si Kristo!"

12. Strangelybeauty - When I was small, I was wondering why a lot of people get sleepy in church. My yaya said that whenever we go to church, there are small devils that pull on our eyelashes.

13. Jose de vengenge - Our pastor said in a sermon that the Olympics sign is satanic & that Christians should not join or even watch it. I walked out.

14. YñaKi- A reminder posted in a church said: "Please don’t leave your valuables unattended. The ones who find it might think its the answer to their prayers!"

15. Astroboy - During a church event, a sign was put near the basket of apples: "1 per person only. God is watching." Someone posted another sign near the basket of pears: "Get as much as you want. God is watching the apples."

16. Alle - At the end of his sermon, our pastor said in closing: "Let us all CLOSE our eyes, and sing the song, ‘OPEN MY EYES LORD’."

17. RhachaeL_Leigh - During the homily, the priest said: "Sige nga, sino dito ang wlang kagalit?" Obviously, everyone kept their hands down except for a 95-year-old lady, who raised her hand. The priest said, "Aba! Gayahin niyo si lola, siya lang ang walang kagalit. Lola, sabihin niyo sa lahat kung bakit wala kayong kagalit?" The lola answered: "Patay na kasi ang mga walanghiya!"