Fighting Depression

It's been more 2 months since my last day of work, but lately I have been facing a different battle. Something that I am trying to ward of, and the one thing I am a bit scared to experience: Depression. Honestly, I have been telling everyone that I am taking this break because I need it. I have been working straight since graduating from college, and this has been the longest break I have ever been. But, I am getting kinda bit depressed because I have been applying for a job but it seems that I am either underqualified or overqualified. Is it time for me to leave the call center industry in the meantime and try other fields? I have been working the night shift for 4 years, and sometimes it can get the better of me. It can be tiring. A new friend said that it is unhealthy. Well in fact, it is! I was never on the heavy side when I was younger. I used to be as thin as Kate Moss! I was still able to control my weight when I was in college. But now, I can't seem to ward off all the weight I gained! Oh well, I really have to do something about it. But believe me, I am trying so hard to fight the depression. I am trying to ward off depression because I don't wanna pity myself. That's why I really have to find ways to become more productive so that I won't feel depressed, or think about being depressed. I am thankful that I have friends and family that I get to talk to once in a while, so I can unload my inner feelings. I try to think of happy thoughts. I just think that there must be something better in store for me, that's why I am blogging right now to keep my sanity in check. But I am doing well, I think. And I think I am winning my battle against depression.

Being Gay in the Philippines

I always read the blog of popular comedian and talk show host John "Sweet" Lapus' blog over the PEP (Philippine Entertainment Portal) website. And, his newest blog is very interesting. He talks about the differenced between gays and lesbians in our country. I never thought that there is such a thing as "double standard" in the LBGT community. I would like to share with you this interesting piece he wrote. It's a serious issue that Sweet was able to discuss in a very comic way. Comments are very much welcome:

Kawawang bakla

Filed under: Opinion — admin at 4:38 pm on Friday, September 12, 2008

Si Carol Dauden, na isang magaling aktres, at si Aiza Seguera, na mahusay na mang-aawit, ay umamin na—sila ay mga tomboy. Mukha naman silang masaya sa kanilang pag-amin. Mas naging malaya sila. Natanggap naman sila ng mga pamilya nila at mga kaibigan. Pero bakit ang mga bakla sa showbiz, isang damukal ang ayaw umamin. Yung iba, tumanda na, at yung iba naman, namatay na pero hindi umamin. Namatay nang nagtatago. Namatay nang hindi malaya. Kawawang bakla.

Sabi ng mga kaibigan kong tomboy, minsan daw, nakaka-get sila ng babaeng makaka-s*x nang hindi nila binabayaran. Para ding mga straight guys na minsan talk show lang at isang bote ng beer, confirmed na! Yung mga baklang mukhang babae at maganda, siguro nakaka-get ng libre, pero prangkahan na, yung iba hindi. Kahit mayaman ang bakla or sikat at powerful, pay pa din. Yung iba, hindi cash. Minsan, career or trabaho. Minsan, damit or rubber shoes. Basta, may kapalit pa rin. May mga kaibigan akong nagmamaganda. Mahal daw sila ng kanilang mga straight boyfriends. I asked them, “Try niyo nga huwag bigyan ‘yan ng allowance or work, tignan ko lang kung boyfriend mo pa ‘yan.” Ayaw naman nila i-try. Kawawang bakla.

Ang dami kong kilalang tomboy na ang girlfriend babaeng totoo ‘tapos tumagal ang relasyon. Sa mga bakla, ang tumatagal lang yung bakla sa baklang relasyon. Kawawang bakla.

Lima na ang kakilala kong baklang pinatay. Yung dalawa, ka-close ko pa. Nagkaroon tuloy ng chismis na baka may gay serial killer. Pero tomboy, walang masyadong pinapatay. Naisip ko, itong mga gay killers, they know na kaya nilang patayin ang mga kawawang bakla na biktima nila. Honestly, minsan naisip ko, kung meron kayang bakla na serial killer naman ng mga lalaki? Bongga, di ba? Pero mga salbahe lang ang pinapatay niya. Kaya lang ‘pag nahuli, kawawang bakla.

Parang boring ang kumalat na picture ng Mocha girls na naghahalikan. Pero kung member ng all-male group ang may kumalat na picture na naglalaplapan, kahit biruan lang din tulad ng sa Mocha, I’m sure-manicure-pedicure-kulot, hanggang next year ay headline ‘yon. Pagchi-chismisan sa beauty parlor, palengke, school, opisina, prisinto, at sa batis habang naglalaba. Kasi recently ko lang nalaman, na ‘pag dalawang babae pala ang naghalikan, natuturn-on ang mga lalaki. Pero ‘pag dalawang lalaki ang naghalikan, hindi naman natuturn-on ang mga babae, worst, nandidiri sila. Biased, di ba? Kawawang bakla.

Pag ang mga lalaki nambabae, sasabihin “macho.” Pero pag namakla, “kadiri.” Kawawang bakla.

Pag ang bakla mukhang babae, maganda. Pero ang babae pag mukang bakla, pangit. Hahaha. Kawawang bakla.

Eto, talagang totoo. Pag ang baklang pa-girl malaki ang nota, alaskado siya sa mga kaibigan niyang bakla. Ang tomboy na pamin pag matambok ang pechay, kaiinggitan ng mga kaibigan niyang tomboy. Suwerteng tomboy, kawawang bakla.

Ang dami kong kaibigang Filipino-Chinese na tomboy at accepted ng family nila. Ang dami kong kaibigang Filipino-Chinese na tagong bakla. Yung iba umamin na lang noong patay na ang tatay nila. Kawawang bakla.

Pag may dumaan na bakla, sumisigaw ang mga batang kalye ng, “Bakla! Bakla!” Pero parang hindi pa ako nakarinig na sumigaw sila ng, “Tomboy! Tomboy!” Kawawang bakla.
Ang mga baklang nakadamit-babae, posibleng mabastos pag pumasok sa C.R. ng boys. Pag ang tomboy pumasok sa C.R. ng girls, okay lang na nakadamit-lalaki. Hindi kaya dahil lalaki lang ang nambabastos? Kawawang bakla.

Nabanggit ko na ito dati. Ang dami kong nakikitang tomboy na may ka-holding hands na babae. May nakita na ba kayong baklang hinolding hands ng boyfriend niya? In public, ha. Kawawang bakla.

Yung isang kaibigan kong tomboy, tuwang-tuwa daw ang tatay niyang sundalo nang malamang tomboy siya. Yung kaibigan kong bakla, binugbog ng tatay na sundalo nang malamang bakla. Kaloka. Kawawang bakla.

Pag ang anak na lalaki or babae masama ang ugali, ang tawag “black sheep.” Pag bakla ang anak na masama ang ugali, ang tawag “salot.” May kaibigan nga ako na mabait naman, salot pa din ang turing ng pamilya. Maryosep, kawawang bakla.

Kadalasan ang lalaki, kapag nakikipag-break sa girlfriend nila, kasi may ibang babae. Kapag ang lalaki, nakikipag-break sa bakla, kasi may ibang bakla or babae. Heto ang kakaiba, may kaibigan akong bakla, iniwan siya ng jowa niya kasi nag-born again. Ang say ni bakla, “Anong palagay niya sa akin, demonyo?” Kawawang bakla.

Naging malaking issue nang tawagin ni Joey de Leon na “mukhang aswang” si Pokwang. Dahil siguro magkatapat sila ng show. Sabi ni Willie Revillame, kawawa naman daw ang anak ni Pokwang kasi tinutukso sa school. Naisip ko lang, kung bakla ang co-host sa Wowowee at sinabihang “mukhang aswang” ni Joey, masasabi rin kaya ni Willie na kawawa naman ang mga pamangkin ni bakla kasi tinutukso sa school? Ano sa sa plagay niyo? Sana naman…Kasi ‘pag hindi, kawawa si bakla.

May mga artistang babae at lalaki na pangit na, wala pang laman ang utak. Itsura pa lang kasi, nakakatawa na. Ang mga baklang pangit, kailangan medyo witty at matalino. Kung hindi, kawawa kang bakla ka.

Ang batang lalaki ‘pag kumikendeng, sasabihin “bakla paglaki.” ‘Pag ang batang babae, macho kumilos, sasabihin ay “boyish” lang. Kawawang baklita.

Ang mga babae tuwang-tuwa ‘pag pumupunta sa gay bar. Ang mga bakla, kawawa sa pandidiri ‘pag pumunta sa girlie bar. Sure ako diyan. Sinama ako dati ng mga kaibigan kong lalaki, awang-awa ako sa sarili ko. Huhuhu.

Nakakatawa pero nakakasad yung joke na ito (buti na lang joke):

PARI: Ang mga bakla ay hindi makakapasok sa langit.

BAKLA: Ok lang ‘yon Father. Doon na lang kami sa Rainbow, magslide-slide.

Which made me think. Ang mga bakla lang ang makakaisip ng ganoon. Hindi na papasukin sa langit pero nakuha pang mag-taray at lumigaya sa pag-slide sa rainbow.

Dito sa Pilipinas, sa Quezon City na lang, tabi-tabi ang gay bar. Lesbian bar, may nakita ka na?

Alam niyo ba na may mga spa at massage parlor na para lang sa mga bakla? Bongga!

Walang baklang istambay. As in pang lalaki lang ang word na ‘yan. Yun nga lang, may baklang pusher at bugaw pero may trabaho pa din. Bihira ang baklang holdaper. Yung kumukuha na lang ng hindi kanila. May na-meet na akong baklang snatcher at akyat-bahay, at least, nag-effort muna sa pagtakbo at pag-akyat. Hahaha.

Ang word na “pink peso” ay dedicated daw sa pera na kinikita at ginagastos ng mga bakla.
Madami daw bakla sa call center na pinapayagang mag-boses babae kasi boses babae talaga. I doubt kung madaming tomboy ang boses lalaki. Aminin.

May kaibigan akong tomboy na nag-commit ng suicide after iwan ng girlfriend. Ang mga bakla ‘pag iniwan ng jowa, mababaliw lang—iiyak…mag-e-emote…magkukulong sa kwarto…magluluto…magpapa-parlor…’tapos may jowa na ulit. Taray! I should know.

Mas madaming bakla ang nanalo sa mga make-up at hair style competition. Oo naman.
Ang mga bakla, may taste. Pag sinabi naming pangit, pangit talaga ‘yon. Pero pag sinabi naming maganda, ay maganda talaga ‘yon. May kaibigan akong lalaki. May pina-date sa akin na barkada daw niyang guwapo. Sa barkada nila, ‘yon daw ang pinaka-guwapo. Nang makita ko, ang naisip ko lang, “Diyos ko po! Ano pa itsura ng pangit sa barkada nila?” May barkada naman akong babae. Pinakilala sa akin yung manliligaw niya. Super guwapo daw. Pucha, pagkakita ko, napa-C.R. ako.

Ang mga bakla, masaya kasama. Maingay, nakakatawa at hindi boring.

Come to think of it. Hindi rin pala kami masyadong kawawa. Mga bakla, tara na sa Rainbow at mag-slide-slide in this particular order:

RED- Mga baklang pa-girl, operada at mukhang babae. Go, mga sisters!

ORANGE- Mga batang bakla. Slide na, mga anak!

GREEN- Mga paminta, mukhang lalaki, members ng guys4men.com. Slide na, mga pare!

YELLOW- Mga baklang may asawa at anak. You deserved to be happy. Slide na!

VIOLET- Mga baklang bisexual, dito kayo kasi alanganing red, alanganing blue. Go!

INDIGO- Mga baklang Diva at Mama. Halina mga sisters. Mama Ricky, kapit lang po mabuti. Sunod na po ako in a while.

BLUE- Mga baklang tago at ayaw umamin, dito kayo. Kahit hindi kayo umaamin, may karapatan din kayong mag-slide sa rainbow natin. Ingat lang sa pagtili at baka mabuking. Diyan kayo sa dulo para hindi mahalata ng bayan na nakikipaglaro kayo sa amin. Don’t worry, we understand. Alam ko, kawawa din kayo. Sssshhhh….

New Beyonce Album Set For Release

After the massive success of her second studio album B'Day, singer/actress/songwriter/fashion designer/product spokesperson/producer/music icon Beyonce Knowles is coming out with her 2rd studio album.

Music World Music/Columbia Records will release the third full-length studio album from the international superstar and cultural icon Beyoncé on Tuesday, November 18.

One of 2008's most hotly anticipated new album releases, Beyoncé's as-yet-untitled upcoming album marks the artist's first new studio collection since the Grammy-winning multi-platinum-selling B'Day debuted at #1 on charts around the world shortly after its international release on September 4, 2006 (in celebration of Beyoncé's 25th birthday).

Beyoncé's fans will get their first glimpse of the artist's new album with the simultaneous release of two of the album's key tracks -- "If I Were A Boy" and "Single Ladies" -- scheduled to impact radio on October 7.

With all songs co-written and co-produced by Beyoncé, the artist's third studio album is her most personal, reflective and revelatory collection to-date.

More on Cosmo Bachelors!

Here is an interesting article about this year's batch of Cosmo Bachelors, with an interview with back to back Cosmo hunk Derek Ramsay :

Derek Ramsay makes the ladies swoon with "all-out, consistent hotness" in "Cosmopolitan"

Karen A. Pagsolingan

Friday, August 29, 2008

Why is September a hot month for ladies? It will rain men! Cosmopolitan magazine's annual list of 69 bachelors is officially out. And the fun, fearless females out there are in for 30 pages of "wet" hunks! Zo Aguila, editor-in-chief of Cosmo, tells PEP (Philippine Entertainment Portal) that screening a room full of gorgeous guys is a most enjoyable thing to do, but it's no easy task. She says, "We always try to top our previous projects. So, this year's bachelor list, if I may say so, is our best count by far. We were ultimately looking for hunks who fulfilled fantasies." When asked about the criteria set for this year's Cosmo Men, Zo reveals: "We understand that each Pinay has her own type of swoon-worthy stud, so we tried to throw in a mix of everything—from tisoys and chinitos, to pure-blooded morenos. Also, we're always on the lookout for men who have that certain charm that girls can easily toy with in their imagination. This year's batch of bachelors is a group of worthy, crushable hunks—and they've got the wit and bodies to prove it."

DEREK ON COVER. There has been a clamor for this half-Pinoy/ half-British guy, and finally, he's gracing the cover. Zo relates, "We admit, Derek isn't new to Cosmo. In fact, he's been a Cosmo-certified hunk since as far back as we remember. However, with his current so-hot status and unwavering popularity, we felt that he'd make a fabulous cover for 2008's Cosmo Men issue. Having him grace this year's Cosmo Men cover is testament to his all-out, consistent hotness...and to Cosmo's undeniable strength of giving girls what they want."

CENTERFOLD HUNKS. And aside from the 28-year old actor, girls will find the other heartthrobs chosen for the Centerfold drool-worthy!

There's Paolo Contis, who completely sheds off his child-actor image in his "shower" pictorial. Another former child wonder, Billy Crawford, shows that it takes more than just his singing and dancing talents to be revered as an international star. Geoff Eigenmann's piercing gaze and charming smile are enough to melt any girl's heart.

Kapamilya stars Bruce Quebral, Jon Avila, and Ron Morales—who have lorded over fashion runways of Bench—prove that there's more to their being tall and handsome!

The first Pinoy Ford Supermodel Rocky Salumbides, cager Macky Escalona, half-Japanese/half-Brazilian Akihiro Sato have interesting stories to tell, as they also have great bods to display!

Zo explains how she and her team arrive at their choices, "Cosmopolitan's list of top ten centerfolds is comprised of industry hunks who have grown bold and sexy. We put in a mix of faces—from expected centerfolds and newcomers, to fresh boy-next-door-turned-sexy types. The repeat Centerfolds have to still be on the industry's sooo-hot radar; the newbies have to show pogi and lust potential; and the unexpected now-sexy crushables are the exciting additions to Cosmo's hall of fame. "The choosing is an exciting challenge every year, but the bottom line is this: We make sure to give the readers pages they'll giddily devour."

Other exciting things to look forward to in this year's Cosmo Men?

Zo says, "Aside from the fresh 69 faces and 8 first-time centerfold models this year, we got a little more personal, asked the men racier questions, and made them give their most candid, no-BS answers. Also, as an added treat, we made sure all the guys were wet."

If Derek, the Centerfold hunks, and the rest of the 69 bachelors are not hunkalicious enough for you...girl, from which planet are you from?

Go grab your copy now, and rave about the Cosmo Men's pogi points with your girlfriends.

Derek Ramsay is already taken, but you can take home this handsome, half-nude, and hunkalicious guy! The 28-year old actor graces the cover of Cosmo Men this year!

Presenting: The Cosmo Top 10 centerfolds for 2008

September is finally here! The most awaited edition of Cosmopolitan Magazine (Philippines) is already out with a special supplement containing pictures of 69 delicious bachelors from all over the country and 10 of the sought after male celebrities in sexy centerfold photos! The 10 guys who made the cut this year are (in no particular order): 1. JON AVILA 2. PAOLO CONTIS 3. BILLY CRAWFORD 4. GEOFF EIGENMANN 5. MACKY ESCALONA (former ADMU Blue Eagles basketball player) 6. RON MORALES (Bench Body endorser) 7. BRUCE QUEBRAL 8. DEREK RAMSAY 9. AKIHIRO SATO 10. ROCKY SALUMBIDES The September issues of Cosmopolitan Magazine (Philippines) with Maja Salvador as their cover girl (her first for the magazine) is now available at your leading bookstores and magazine stands. Take your pick and grab a copy before it runs out. Quick! Quick! Quick!

Ninoy 25 years after his death; Madonna: Fabulous at 50

Yesterday marked the 25th anniversary of the assasination of former Senator Benigno "Ninoy" Aquino, Jr. It's been 25 years, but the real culprit/s remain to be unidentified to this day. I did not have any memory of Ninoy because I was not born during the Martial Law era, and I was only 10 months old when he was assasinated. But, he made a mark in my life because of how he was depicted in history books, and I am endlessly fascinated by his charm whenever I get to watch documentaries about his life. Maybe that's the reason why I love his daughter Kris to bits (eventhough not alot of people like her), it's because she has a father for a hero, and she had a very good father. Not alot of people can claim that they have a father for a hero, but she has one in Ninoy! Imagine your father's name being mentioned in the same breath as Jose Rizal, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and all those people who sacrificed their lives for their countrymen. One thing that struck me about Ninoy is his charisma with people, and his brain. I am so impressed by Ninoy's intelligence and the way he delivered his speeches in public. He is so enigmatic! One moment he's serious, another moment he's funny! I guess those are the traits that Kris inherited from her dad. To me, Ninoy was a rock star! I wish that he could have lived longer to serve the country, but I also think that during the time he was killed, he already served his purpose: to unite the country at the time of crisis. Because of his untimely death, Filipinos united to topple a dictatorship. He may be gone forever, but his spirit lives on. Mabuhay ka, Ninoy Aquino!

Whew! That was a serious way to start a blog entry. Not the typical me, eh? Hehehe. Anyway, my next topic is about no less than the Queen of Pop and The Queen of Reinvention, Madonna. She just turned 50 last August 16 and she's still on top of her game. She's still one of the world's top selling concert acts, and her current release Hard Candy is one of her most successful albums to date. What I really like about Madonna is that she continues to better herself, because she knows that there will always be someone younger, there will always be more talented singers who can take her place anytime. And with a different album comes a different image she portrays to the public. Madonna was a constant part of my soundtrack when I was growing up, but came to have an appreciation of her music when she came out with This Used To Be My Playground (from the A League Of Their Own soundtrack) & Take A Bow (from her Secret album). I officially became a fan when she effortlessly portrayed the late Argentinean First Lady Eva Peron in the movie version of the hit Broadway musical Evita, and from then on I always get excited everytime she comes out with a new album. What else is next for Madonna? Since it has been a habit of hers to surprise her fans, I will just wait and see. For now, she will be releasing a Greatest Hits CD in fulfillment of her contractual obligations with Warner Music (and the last CD in her contract), before she moves on to her multi-million dollar deal with Live Nation. I just wish her the best in everything she does (and hopes that Manila is part of her upcoming Sticky & Sweet tour hehehe). She is truly an artist's artist. A true Queen. An Icon. Ageless. Supreme. A Diva. That's Madonna.

What I'm Loving Now Part Deux

I had so much to write about on my previous blog that when I realized that I was not able to write in all of them in one blog, I decided to give it another go. Here's another list of the things, and people I am currently loving.

1. FERGIE: The only woman member of the Black Eyed Peas, I am so into Fergie's music right now. I recently bought a copy of her album The Dutchess (Deluxe Edition) and she totally turned me into a fan. Her current CD contains 13 tracks and 4 bonus tracks, including Labels or Love, which was the main theme of the monstrous hit movie Sex and the City. Aside from Labels or Love, my other favorite tracks in her CD are Clumsy (both the original version and it's remix featuring Soulja Boy), Glamorous, All That I Got (The Makeup Song), Velvet and Finally (with John Legend on piano).

2. PROJECT RUNWAY PHILIPPINES: One of the best local franchises of an internationally-renowned reality show I've seen this year, which aims to find the next big Filipino fashion designer. I kinda liked that it still adheres to it's American counterpart when it comes to presentation, but it has a distinctly Filipino touch. The 14 finalists of Project Runway Philippines, which consists of a mix of established and new designers, will battle it out for a total cash prize of PHP500,000, a start-up business package, an editorial spread in Mega magazine, and an opportunity to show their collection at the Philippine Fashion Week. The show is hosted by model/theater actress Teresa Herrera (who's doing a really good & classy job as Heidi Klum's local counterpart) with esteemed fashion designer Jojie Lloren serving as mentor to the designers. Noted fashion designer Rajo Laurel and supermodel-turned-colmnist Apples Aberin-Sadwhani sits on board as the show's resident judges, with a guest judge on every episode. Who's In? Who's Out? Find it out every Wednesday night at 10 on ETC.

3. COOKING SHOWS: I love watching cooking shows. I find it a joy to know how to prepare a really good meal and learning different cultures with every cuisine. I love watching local and foreign cooking shows on TV. I currently love watching Quickfire, KaToque and Chef to Go on QTV 11 and foreign shows like Food Lover's Guide to the Planet on Nat Geo, and Food Safari & Nigella Bites on Discovery Travel and Living.

4. ETERNITY SUMMER BY CALVIN KLEIN: The current limited edition of the famed pefume, I like it because it smells very fresh and clean without assaulting your olfactory senses. Everytime I spray it on, it always feels like I just got out of the shower. I highly recommend this one to those who want a perfume that is light and breezy.

5. BULGARI AQUA MARINE: I have always been a fan of Bulgari perfumes, and their newest fragrance really got me crazy over it. I used to have the original Aqua, but when it ran out, I decided to switch to the new version. The new Bulgari Aqua Marine, like Eternity Summer, is also light on the nose and it smells really good, which is a far cry to the nice but strong and very masculine scent of the original Aqua. If you love perfumes, this is a must have on your collection.